More often than not, promise rings make no sense. Majority of the couples exchanging them don’t actually realize what they’re promising – and most definitely don’t end up keeping them. The poor schmuck giving it probably was being pressured by his Kardashian following lady friend anyways.
It’s like an engagement ring, but not really. It’s like a proposal to propose at some time in the future.
Ultimately, it’s a (will-be-broken) promise to not do all the things that kids in high school / early college years do to “find themselves” and become the person they need to be, in order to be happy with the most important relationship: between you and yourself.
I know he promised he won’t cheat again; but he will. She promises to wear the ring and love you forever; until that really hot guy in her stats class. It’s cynical, I know; but it’s the truth in 90% of cases! Why ruin a perfect gift with lukewarm sentiment? On the off-chance this is a less than admirable guy (or girl) postponing promising a commitment they’re too chicken to make; they’re basically just marking their territory without anything real to back it up.
How many couples do you see “hashtagging” their way through a relationship with promise rings and #mancrushsuperforeverwednesdaywhatevers? Less than a handful actually stay together and get married.
Don’t get me wrong, the commitment and something to symbolize that promise is beautiful. The underlying premise it dumb. If you love the person, love them! If you want to be with someone forever, be with someone forever.
That is why Promise Rings belong in high school.
Personalized Rings – Promising Forever
Now I get to confess to you why I have one, or a sort-of one; and why other adults have found personalized rings useful.
I was married, too soon and then too short (maybe we should’ve just given promise rings haha). The term “boyfriend” for a seriously relationship at a certain age just has a weird ring to it. The boyfriend term also doesn’t do a great job of conveying a serious committed relationship as an adult. When my “boyfriend” and I moved across the country, started a Master’s program & a new career, and bought a house together… I started to think it was pretty serious. We wanted to spend our money on what was important, so I got a ring. It’s not an engagement ring. It’s not a wedding ring. The closest thing we can describe it as is a promise ring. It’s a beautiful white gold personalized ring band
With this ring I have a very special piece of jewelry that:
reminds me of our commitment to each other
is really pretty
is on my hand so when I talk about my other half to people (and their glance inevitably darts to my left hand) they know I mean love of my life, not some guy I met 3 weeks ago…
With the divorce rate SKYROCKETING (and the cost of both weddings & divorce procedures following suit), perhaps more people should think about investing in a beautiful personalized (promise) ring before shelling out the dough for an engagement ring.
Here’s what other people have described about their promise rings:
-When I gave my girlfriend the ring over a decade ago, I didn’t know what it was called. I had no idea back then that it was called a promise ring. But I still gave it to her because I wanted her to know how special she is and how much I loved her.
– We got a “promise” ring because we didn’t have the money for an engagement ring. It may sound stupid, but neither of us were comfortable being engaged and not having a ring for me. It works for some people, but I know I wouldn’t have liked it. So, we found a $20 ring on amazon. I still wear it on my right hand… It was just nice to have something on each of us that reminded us of the other person from time to time. It makes you feel a little closer when you’re not with them.
Read more personal stories about the Great, Good, Bad, and Ugly about promise rings here!
Relationship Advice site, Love Panky, created this quiz for the question: To promise or to just give a personalized ring?
When should you give a promise ring?
#1 You feel so much love for this special someone, and you just want to express it through this ring.
#2 You can’t afford a fancy ring now, but someday you can and you will.
#3 You know you’re just not ready to be engaged because both of you are too young or still not financially ready for a marriage.
#4 You think you’re ready for a commitment, and you want to make a promise.
#5 You’re really serious about the relationship and you want your partner to know that.
They suggest before giving a promise ring, you think long and hard about:
#1 Don’t buy a wedding ring, a promise ring can be any kind of ring in the world (as long as it looks good).
#2 Do you REALLY want to wear it on the ring finger. You may want to save the ring finger for a wedding ring.
#3 State your promise clearly. Every time your lover looks at the ring, it has to remind them of a special promise. If you just slip it on without any promise, it’ll lead to confusions later or the ring may just have no significance other than a bling thing.
#4 You don’t need to spend two to six months of your salary on the ring. But don’t be cheap either. It has to last a lifetime even if it won’t always stay on your lover’s finger.